Safety
MessageMediator exists to make hard conversations safer for both people. These rules are enforced by the service itself, on every message.
Never delivered
- Threats of violence or harm, intimidation, blackmail and "you'll regret this" pressure.
- Harassment, slurs, hate, and sexual content aimed at the recipient.
- Bulk or marketing messages. One recipient per message, daily limits, and the same text to several people is refused.
- Links and web addresses. They are pointed out during review and replaced with "[link removed]".
- Photos or videos that have not passed their own safety check. A video's pictures and soundtrack are both checked; if either cannot be checked, it is not sent.
Cool-down and SendGuard
When a message reads as written in strong emotion, it is held for 10 to 60 minutes. You can send the calmer version right away, edit and review again, or wait. Every message then waits in SendGuard (10 seconds to 1 hour, or a time you choose); cancelling while it waits is guaranteed and refunds your credits.
What "unsend" really means
Before a message leaves SendGuard, cancel is guaranteed. After that, an email or text is on the other person's device and nobody can pull it back; we never pretend otherwise. You can withdraw it from their MessageMediator page, edit what they see there (with the history shown), and send a correction. Withdrawn messages stay in your own history, clearly marked.
If you are in crisis
If a message mentions suicide or self-harm, we show support first. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) any time. Outside the US, call your local emergency number. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number. For domestic violence support in the US: 1-800-799-7233.
Abuse and coercion
MessageMediator never pressures anyone to reconcile. When a conversation involves threats or control, it suggests boundaries, keeping a record, and getting help, not more contact.
For recipients
- Every message shows who sent it: a member who signed in with a verified email and confirmed their name.
- Every email has one-click unsubscribe plus links to block the sender, stop all MessageMediator messages, or report abuse. Texts accept STOP and HELP. Opt-outs apply for every sender.
- You can ask for gentle help understanding a message and suggested calm replies (optional).
- Your replies are reviewed too, and you can turn read receipts off.
Mediation rooms
Joining is voluntary. Before joining you see exactly what the facilitator can see. Either person can leave at any time, and agreements are only final when both approve.
What AI review is not
Suggestions come from AI and can be wrong. They are not legal, medical or psychological advice, and nobody's feelings can be known for certain; the author is always responsible for what they send.